Romancing ∙ the ∙ Prose

Goodbye...

2008-04-17T03:25:00.001-07:00

20080308
Kuching
-
My baby, I don't know where you are and when you're reading this exactly, I just hope that you're happy and healthy. And safe too. I am writing this, because I am constantly reminded by what you said about having a time machine to turn back time, and forth - back, so that you can tell your old self to do many things in so many different ways, reinventing yourself and your decisions; forth, so that you'll be assured that you will turn out alright in the future.

Then I remember you asking me what I'd do. I didn't answer you truthfully, because I didn't think you want to hear my answer then. Perhaps, in better words, it was because I didn't want to see you react the way I know you would had you have heard my answer then. You see, if I have had a time machine, I'd go back in time, indeed, not to change anything but to revisit the wonderful moments we have shared together. I have no desire to change anything in my past, for everything that happened, every single revelation and mistake that I made, every tear in my heart and every tear I have caused in others', transpired the subsequent events that led me to you. Didn't it? No, I wouldn't change anything at all. Whatever I had gone through, were all picture perfect with you in them.

You cried and said that you wouldn't be able to go on alone. You can, baby. You can. You're strong and brave and you can get through this. We shared many beautiful moments together, and you made my life, you have made my life wholesome. I have no regret, at all. But what I am, is just a chapter in your life, and though it may seem not quite possible to you now, there will be many more in your life. Remember our wonderful memories, but please don't be afraid to make some more.

20080417
KL
-
Living without you is much more difficult than I ever thought. You are right, every dust and particle in the house, every thing from pieces of paper to the half used tube you left behind, remind me of you. I have tidied our room but have yet found the courage to sleep in it. Perhaps only now I have descended to the troughs and valleys of this break-up. But like I said, I will be fine, for this break up is but due to my being. I have to be. And seeing you around sometimes, makes me sour and relieved at the same time. Relieved that you look fine, sour because you look just so fine.

I am not saying I regret what happened to us. No, and I believe everything happens for a reason. This break up has taught me to cherish the people and the life that are truly precious to us, and not just the everyday chores and material things. Whether you have found the reason, whenever you need me, you know that I will be there for you. No matter what happens in my life or whoever I may be with, you will always be close in my heart and never a moment away from my thoughts.

Goodbye, and good luck, my baby.

Moving On

2007-08-20T18:54:00.000-07:00

It has been more than a year since my last post. I am now in Yokohama, Japan - my second time here on assignment.

So much has happened, and it would be impossible to summarize everything down to a few pages. But this much is true - I am changing. I don't know for sure, whether it's for the better or the worse, but I am changing. I gave up on always wanting to do the "right" thing, on doing things to please everyone else around me. And in the process, inevitably, I have caused much pain to the people closest to me, including noodle.

I came across Paulo Coelho's blog just today, and his latest posting resonated with what I am feeling. I hope he won't mind if he finds out I am using his post here:

Too much renunciation

I met the painter Miie Tamaki during a seminar on Female Energy. I asked what her religion was.

‘I don’t have a religion any more,’ she said.

Noticing my look of surprise, she added:

‘I was brought up as a Buddhist. The monks taught me that the spiritual road was one of constant renunciation: we must overcome our feelings of envy and hatred, any doubts about our faith and any desires. I managed to free myself from all of that until one day my heart was empty; my sins had all disappeared, but so had my human nature. At first, I was very pleased, but I came to realise that I no longer shared the joys and passions of the people around me. That was when I abandoned religion. Now I have my conflicts, my moments of rage and despair, but I know that I am once more close to other people and, therefore, close to God.’

You know, I think this is my first post where I didn't have to read, edit, re-read and re-edit the contents. I am giving and taking it raw from now on. It's time to start being really truthful. It's time to be me.

World Ebook Fair 2006

2006-07-25T23:31:00.000-07:00

July 4th to August 4, 2006 marks a month long celebration of the 35th anniversary of the first step taken towards today's eBooks, when the United States Declaration of Independence was the first file placed online for downloading in what was destined to be an electronic library of the Internet.

There would be free Access to the public from July 4th to August 4th, in celebration of Project Gutenberg's 35th Birthday.

So.. bookworms out there, what are you waiting for??

Coldplay Singapore 2006

2006-07-11T04:10:00.000-07:00

Graphics taken from Helen

Coldplay has been dubbed to be one of the most unlikely of rock superheroes, and yet their songs find their ways into the hearts of millions of fans worldwide. And just a couple of years after their very first appearance on the island with barely seven people to listen to them, they came and conquered a stadium packed with screaming fans.

There is always something magical about their songs - be it in the down-to-earth words or the repetitive tunes in almost every song they wrote, or just the mere enjoyment of Chris Martin pounding his fingers away on the piano keys... OR better still, his ever-so-nerdy, pantomimic moves and dances on stage, with his arms and hands waving in the air as if he was in a tribal trance, touching the soft spots of the fans while his iconic voice soothes and pleases the ears. Indeed, Chris Martin is a hero for all the nerds out there, yours truly included.

We were very much pleased when the band took on the centre stage and honored a tribute to Johnny Cash with one of his songs - Ring of Fire. It was a very nice touch from Coldplay, and noodle and I were very grateful we caught the movie Walk the Line a few weeks back.

But the highlights of the concert were when they were delivering songs like Clocks, The Scientist, and especially Yellow which was greeted with large bouncing yellow balloons that sent the fans screaming their lungs out and cheering for their heroes, we just couldn't keep our butts riveted to the seats but stand up most of the time, sweaty palms in the air, and singing with Chris to the flawless music played by his band.

I think God must have heard my prayers when during the encore, they ended their Twisted Logic tour with my favourite song. And admist the unity of their fans lending their voices to Fix You, I closed my eyes and let myself be wrapped around the greatness of Coldplay, tears were streaming down my face as I clasped both hands to my face, I was moved over and over and I thank noodle for creating and sharing this unforgettable moment with me.

Thank you baby; and no, I never even once doubted that you're good for sweetooth, even if he doesn't realize it.

2668

2006-06-03T00:37:00.000-07:00

I didn't realize that time could pass so quickly, especially when you're busy. Weeks upon weeks skipped past so unknowingly and I hadn't realized I have abandoned this little hideaway of mine until someone actually asked if it has "chup lup" already - God forbid this terrible crime!

Didn't know that this space has a fan in you, PK. So sweet... :P

It has been some hectic days at work but nonetheless, filled with much excitement. First off - we have a new addition in the family! Woohoo! Came to us last Saturday and this baby has been driven like a breeze, we are still musing over how soundless (almost) and effortless (relatively) it is which makes you wanna stay on the road... And to discover that it can actually top close to 600km for MYR80! I kid you not...

I was a tad disappointed when my parents cancelled their trip but was very delighted that my dad actually got a new house in Kuching. I share my mum's joy cause she has been dreaming of a home to call her own since the jurassic period and now she could furnish, furbish and keep her home the way she wants it to be - nice and cosy! Can't wait to spend the next CNY in our new abode. Noodle, what say you...?

Just last evening , I decided to give Noodle a treat in a nice Mexican restaurant around the neighbourhood. I could sense her tolerance level diminishing after crappy tapao food and fastfood throughout the week, heh... It was our second patronage there and we were reminded how good it was the first.

I don't usually do this, but what the heck. It's Las Carretas Mexican Restaurant & Bar - same row of building as the Public Bank in Taipan, USJ. If you love the likes of tocas, enchiladas, pastas with "squid inks" and fat juicy fresh de-shelled prawns, margaritas or pina coladas, this is the place to be. Just lookie at how greedy Noodle sipping away the addictive magarita cocktail...

And this is a little note I wish to keep in this little journal - my favourite British actress, Rachel Weisz, just gave birth to a healthy baby boy yesterday. *warm fuzzy feeling* So proud of her.

What can I say? I am a sucker for hot mamas...

The Historian

2006-04-14T08:35:00.000-07:00

I started The Historian by Elizabeth Kostova sometime in October 2005, only to finish it a couple of weeks ago. It is perhaps one of the longest endeavour in book reading for me, although the time is a far cry compared to the 10 years that the author spent in writing the book - not the least bit unenjoyable.

Although there will be readers who will beg to differ, I am sure, I find The Historian a insightful and entertaining story. Certain parts of it can be really slow paced, especially the descriptions of places and people involved as the story unfolds. For me that is one of the magic of this book - it makes me want to know more about places like Romania and Hungary and what not - but not to the torturing effects like that of Tolkien's style.

And I really did not know that Dracula was indeed a real person, though I have had some hints of such a character leaving as a recluse in Transylvania. The real legend is in fact a prince, and bore the infamous name Vlad Tepes, meaning Vlad the Impaler. If you think drinking human blood is gross, wait till you read what the real prince of darkness did during his reign in Wallachia. (Note to PK - you'll love it, you sick bas** ;P)

But what attracted me to Kostova's writing style is that the story is being told consecutively in three different periods of time - the narrator's, her father's, and her father's mentor, spanning a great gap of 4 decades, and how they all seem to converge towards the end. On the other hand, very much like The Shadow of the Wind, what really caught my attention about this book in the very first place is the slight hint of the narrator's relationship with her father, and later with her mother. Unfortunately, I learnt that later that other more engaging events had overshadowed that element, which was under-developed anyway.

In the story, Prof. Rossi said, "Human history is full of evil deeds, and maybe we ought to think of them with tears, not fascination", only to be compounded by Dracula's own words, "History has taught us that the nature of man is evil, sublimely so".

To you, my dear and perceptive reader, perhaps this is worth a ponder.

A Worthy Place to Dream of

2006-04-11T06:36:00.000-07:00

As Noodle was having her facial treatment session today, I brought on myself to look for good cafe to spend the next 2 hours or so immersing myself in the book that I am currently reading - The Woman from Rome from the renowned Alberto Moravia. The usual Delifrance was buzzing with people and activity the idea itself was absurb to even think about. Then I found another with the tagline "Passion for Coffee" but the lighting was so bad I could hardly make out the faces among the shadows behind the tables. In the end, I found myself snuggled behind a small table in the hotel's cafe and lounge serving over-priced coffee and cheese cake.

What I would have wanted, ideally, is to walk in a store, whereby the very instant you set foot into the premise, the din from the outside world would vanish suddenly. Then you'll find yourself greeted with the sweet scent of wood, particularly of teak and old pine before being greeted with friendly staff donning dorky caps who can't seem to stop smiling at you while taking down your orders. And while you are waiting for that mug of freshly brewed coffee you just ordered, you turn around to see people comfortably slouching on sofas or on top of bar stools leaning on small round tables, all talking and laughing among themselves.

And before you know it, you catch that familiar whiff of your coffee steaming from your favourite mug being brought up from behind the counter. Beaming, you proceed walk up the stairs directly after the cashier to El Cuarto Silencioso, where you abandon the sounds and excitement of the social lounge and venture past rows and rows of books lazily housed on dark-wood shelves that seem to give off a hint of fresh lavender. And at the very end, you are greeted with book worms like yourself, whose heads are humbly bowed down or hidden behind the books held gently by their hands. With a sigh of relief and sense of familiarity, as if you have found your niche, you let yourself settled beside the huge window overlooking the city skyline still wet with drizzling rain, and help yourself with a very small sip of the coffee you have been keeping from your lips. After all, you won't want to finish it off too soon as there is still plenty of time before you actually finishes the book you brought with you, if that.

But of course, there is no such place in existence yet. Not in the part of my country that I know of. And that, if it ever come to pass at all, shall be one of my dreams to achieve and savour - a place born from my imagination and love for words printed on diffrent kinds and grades of paper, all the same bearing all the wonderful stories that have enriched my life, and that of many, many others. A place to call my own, a secret hide-away, indeed, to break away or to gather, and most importantly to romance with the prose.

Researchers

2006-04-02T15:39:00.000-07:00

After finishing The Historian (finally...!), I got down to thinking a bit. So over dinner yesterday, I told Noodle:

There are generally two kinds of researchers - scientists are those who try to take a glimpse at the future, while historians are those who look into the past. Both share the same aim, that is to uncover some truths.

Noodle thought about what I said, and then added:

And artists and philosophers are those who preserve the present, especially when the society is under attack.

How true... God I love this woman. *Muaks

A Life to be Celebrated

2006-03-27T06:03:00.000-08:00

It was supposed to be the perfect closing to a lovely evening. It was supposed to be the beginning of things wonderful to come. It was supposed to be a small glimpse of a happy future ...

But it ended the moment she dashed out of the house into the road. In an instant, a blinding light, a blur image of metalic green and something moving too fast in a residential area like ours... A horrendous low thud after another, and then, time and all things else seemed to freeze as her lifeless body rolled on the ground, not even a whelp, not even a cry of pain.

Something in me came to life like a blazing flame when the realization hit me so hard, it was louder than the silence that pursued - the sudden knowing that I will never be able to tickle her ears like how I did just precious moments ago.

My feet became my master, my common senses lost in the midst of my anger. I dashed across the wet field, I ran as fast as my feet could carry me. There was only one thing in my head - to intercept the speeding Citroen Xsara and avenge her murder. But I am no match for no machine. I lost. I didn't even catch a glimpse of the number.

...

Yesterday night, we lost a precious friend to a road mishap - some 'one' who is dear to Noodle's eldest brother and sis-in-law. No amount of words is enough to tell how we felt, no songs are enough to lament her departure, no praises can ever wholesomely describe how special she was in our hearts.

This post is dedicated to the memory of Bell, the smartest Daschund hound I have ever befriended, with temperaments and behaviour so human you'd think she's a child who knows no rest. Thank you for your company, and your gift of reminding us just how precious and fragile life is, no matter who you are...

Remember, Remember

2006-03-20T18:58:00.000-08:00

Remember remember the fifth of November
Gunpowder, treason and plot.
I see no reason why gunpowder, treason
Should ever be forgot...

Last night, noodle and I joined her colleague and friends for a movie after our gym session. Frequenting the theatres is something we both enjoy tremendously, especially if it is a good movie, but something which we haven't had the opportunity to do of late.

I have to admit - I didn't have much expectation for V for Vendetta in the first place, as the previous comic movies like X-Men(Marvel), Hell Boy(DC) and such were not that an impressive according to my book. Nevertheless, a few takes into the story, I was already hooked.

All in all, V is the sort of movie that has almost everything - action, gore, great music (Cry Me a River never sounded that mesmerizing to me before this), creative plot, witty and funny dialogue with a generous injection of quotes that will no doubt please a Shakespeare enthusiast and most of all, a story with meaning and depth. Youngsters should see this movie more than once, and not only for the cinematic effects, but also the message it is sending through.

But then, come to think of it really, one shouldn't have expected any less of this movie... even more so when it comes with a poster tagline like People should not be afraid of their governments, Governments should be afraid of their people. Yes, it is about (corrupted) governments, and all related issues like dictatorship, conspiracy, religion, homosexuality and what not. Most importantly, it shows that the very essence of any government is in its people. Because, like any other symbol, a government is meaningless without its people.

Well, I can't wait for the local DVD release. The dialogue in V alone is enough to keep me watching it over and over.

Funniest quip of the day: I can't believe I'm watching a movie with my (ex) tutor.

Pasión Nueva

2006-03-14T17:53:00.000-08:00

From this day onwards, I shall be pursuing a new passion.

And it's called W.i.M.A.X.

Take My Breath Away

2006-03-12T19:57:00.000-08:00

Move over, baby - make way for my new love...

T'was another lazy hazy (*not) Sunday morning when noodle and I decided to drop by our neighbourhood Honda showroom to check out the latest addition to the Civic family. Perhaps it was early in the morning still, but the crowd was still bearable, and it didn't take more than 3 turns before it was our take to test the baby.

And what a drive it was - of course, bearing in mind all I have only been driving is my humble '85 Toyota Corolla LE, and me not bring much of a racer. So, there was only so much I could experience during the short 5-minute of circling around the business district, unlike a more "technical" test-drive by others like blogger damion.

But I dare say the car fitted with the newest 1.8l SOHC i-VTEC engine was really a breeze to drive. The interior was cool, esp. the sporty dashboard (really makes me wonder if noodle can handle this baby properly...), the handling effortless and responsive, the insulation good and etc etc etc. One downside is perhaps the compensation of comfort versus performance during sudden acceleration when one could feel the heavy pull as well as the very much noticable revving sound of the engine that seems to suggest it's making a lot of effort. But then again, this ain't a >MYR200K sedan so gotta be realistic with the expectations.

I would have placed my booking there and then, but my conscience told me to give it more consideration before any commitment is made. Though it would be really nice to have this baby as our second car, I am still far from being able to accept the repercussions of owning such a beauty on our budget (earlier on we were actually considering the P2 MyVi which has a standing waitlist for 4-6months! Such a turn off, apart from the looks compared to the Civic lah... muahahaha). And definitely that would mean I'll have to work harder, and worst of all, being away on a foreign land, again.

But for the mean time, I'll just syok sendiri and carry on the debate with noodle on the choice of colour - I'm hooked on the bronze silver pearl whereas she's more into the bluish silver metallic. On another note, the sure thing now is that this spells "bye bye" to my earlier target, the Toyota Corolla Altis, which is already a car 4 years older than the new Civic baby.

So move over, make way for my new baby...

Local Geniuses

2006-03-09T23:07:00.000-08:00

Of late, I have been free enough to keep surfing the net and indulge myself with current affairs and what not (as a result, my frustration-meter has been on the high scale too). One issue that amazes me (still) is how the statistics of our annual public examinations (SPM, STPM etc) seem to have an increasing trend year after year. And 2005 was no exception.

It was slated that 4779 out of 438132 candidates for the 2005 SPM scored straight A's [Sun2Surf, The Star]. That is a whopping 1.09% of the whole pool of examinees! And we are only 55 students shy from having a thousand who dished out prefect 9A1s.

... .. .

Though I do not have the stats nor the means to the sources now, were we really stupid a few years back? Or has the government been so successful in continually upgrading (excuse the pun) education standards that more and more geniuses are being nurtured??

Which brings me to our new hero, Mr., sorry, Dr. Chan Yao Ban:

(source: The Age)

Being only at a tender age of 21, Dr. Chan is now a the youngest PhD graduate in Melbourne University, and he is currently doing a huge favour to mankind in his research on schizophrenia diagnosis etc etc etc. Cool... but too bad he is not in Malaysia any more. But who cares, right?

So again, who is saying there are no geniuses in Bolehland? They just don't live here anymore.

Now waiting for my friend, PK's turn to make his mark in a Korean daily as the smartest PhD student in RESL@ICU, or something to that effect :)

Thanks but No Thanks

2006-03-07T23:04:00.000-08:00

There was this story about this Taiwanese man, UncleS&M, who was renowned for his skills on the job, but PR-wise, he can really do with some lessons from yours truly.

A Malaysian engineer was working for him on contract-basis for 3 months. The Malaysian, though not the most expensive asset in his team, was always under UncleS&M's constant nagging that he was being overpaid, despite his consistent quality and dedication in performing his duties.

In a nutshell, after the first 3 months, the Malaysian was granted leave from UncleS&M's team, with the understanding that he will return for a longer-term assignment. But when the day was closing in, UncleS&M suddenly issued a statement through a third party, that the Malaysian was not needed anymore, and as far as he was concern, his contract ended long ago.

Fine, the Malaysian thought. Though uncalled for, things like these do happen in a volatile industry like this but he thought UncleS&M could've done this in a more appropriate (and professional) way rather than sneaking a dagger behind one's back like that. Moreover, the company wouldn't have to waste a return-ticket's worth of money for the Malaysian to fly back to gather his stuff.

Then one day, UncleS&M called on the Malaysian out of the blue.

I may offer you to come back Taiwan in April, he said. You can come in the end of this month...

Gritting his teeth, the Malaysian wished he could tell UncleS&M what he truly wanted to say. Instead, not wanting to burn down any bridge which he may one day need to cross again, he maintained his diplomatic front and told UncleS&M it was up to the big bosses to decide where he should go next.

So, since you have dismissed the Malaysian unfairly, who now happens to be needed elsewhere, where he may be appreciated more for his skills and such (or not, whatever), here's to you UncleS&M:

THANKS BUT, NO THANKS.

Good to be...

2006-03-05T21:50:00.001-08:00

It's good to be back - not having to count through the days working, eating and sleeping and well, working again in some other parts of the world; the warm and fuzzy feeling of having someone you love beside you; the pain of shopping for the things to decorate your new home; the joy of hopping to the gym to burn those fat away and get those muscles pumped up...

It's oh-so-good to be home!

Except that... well, could've been perfect if not for the government's recent sacrificial call to the "rakyat" with a major (though we were promised this shall be the first and last of 2006) fuel hike; or the big fat loss of the big fat kite; or most of all, the nation-wide joke (and it's not even April's Fool yet!) on the new owner(s) of the next 3G spectrum licence.

Un-believable.

One would think that it is only an eventuality that the licence should go to the 3rd major mobile operator. But noOOooOOoo - it has to be local, and it has to go to one non-mobile operator that barely needs the spectrum for the service they provide, and another that only has junk as their network infrastructure.

Is it not about having the right man for the job? Obviously not here where they deny those with the right tools but give it those with bigger ****s. And people wonder why people are flocking out of this land for a greener pasture?

It's good to be back.

Family Ties

2006-02-02T20:46:00.000-08:00

This year, CNY was celebrated in the most unconventional of ways, according to the standards observed in my household. For one, my parents and youngest brother flew all the way from my hometown to be with us for the festive holidays. One could only imagine how elated I was.

Instead of the usual scene of a huge gathering with other relatives, and tables ornamented with nice food but otherwise off it, bits of rigidness and increasing tension, our reunion dinner on the eve of CNY this time was in a chinese restaurant somewhere in USJ. There were only 5 of us, 5 of the most important people in my life; and albeit the noisy atmosphere, the air was cosy, feelings care-free and most of all, it truly felt like a family to me. I have not felt like this for years in row, and I missed the feeling of relaxation and closeness being around the people I care and love so much.

Now that dad is back at home tending to his work, while mum is getting lunch ready downstairs, I suddenly felt the urge to pen this down so that I can always come back and visit this entry whenever I am off working elsewhere not so close to home, and feeling lonesome.

That one of the greatest joy bestowed on me this early barking year, were the moments of loving tenderness between my folks - the occassional sling of my daddy's arm on my mummy's shoulder, the holding of their hands, even my daddy buying mummy a coconut to quench her thirst... These strings of images fell right onto the fovea of my eyes and engraved in my mind like those happiest moments one can ever wish for in a lifetime.

Perhaps the only drawback in our blissful gathering this time is that our new humble abode was not ready yet. But then again, does it matter, really? I am sure that this is just the beginning of many things wonderful to come in this new year and that there will be many opportunities for my family to regain those many many stolen months and years of togetherness. And perhaps, this is also a beginning for myself to rediscover the layers, the wholeness, the sacrifices and such, of the notions of journeying a lifetime with someone, and to recover my faith in that sacred union between 2 souls.

This is for you, mum and dad: I wish you both 365 days of loving tenderness and many more sweet golden years to come.

Second Time's the Charm...

2006-01-18T08:08:00.000-08:00

So here's a little something for someone to ponder:

It's a clue, just like the title. Devious...

By The River Piedra...

2006-01-16T07:57:00.000-08:00

Reading Paulo Coelho's works has always been like embarking on a mental and spiritual journey for me. Although I have only read 2 of his works so far, and having another tucked safely in a box somewhere, it is all the same an enlightening journey of discovery and self-assessment paging through his prose. I first landed on his most renowned title, The Alchemist, months after I heard how great it was - even Madonna was mesmerized by his novel. Although I didn't have such dramatic response after finishing the book, it was nonetheless one of the most touching story I have ever read. Touching in the sense that it moved me to the deepest core and got me thinking about what I really wanted out of my life, and much more...

Not surprisingly, reading By the River Piedra... was no exception. Although the story revolved on a different background and culture, it was all the same a great story about the same things Coelho emphasized in The Alchemist - the courage to realize one's dreams, not being afraid of desiring happiness, and having it.

The major difference in this book is religion: how Mr. Coelho conveyed the image of - as well as the concept of embracing - God, His/Her mighty presence in such beautiful ways (and no, there is not typo in this sentence). I am not trying to endorse his views on the subject, nor am I judging his interpretations to be right/wrong, but I find them peculiarly... truthful, in many ways.

And it was told a story towards the end of the book, a tale that touched the very endings of my nerves - I was reminded of how noodle and I sometimes bickered over petty things where the cause of it all was ironically nothing but one's thoughtfulness for the other, and vice versa:

"A boy and a girl were insanely in love with each other," my mother's voice wa saying. "They decided to become engaged. And that's when presents are always exchanged.

"The boy was poor - his only worthwhile possession was a watch he had inherited from his grandfather. Thinking about his sweetheart's lovely hair, he decided to sell the watch in order to buy her a silver barrette.

"The girl had no money herself to buy him a present. She went to the shop of the most successful merchant in town and sold him her hair. With the money, she bought a gold watch-band of her lover.

"When they met on the day of the engagement party, she gave him the wristband for a watch he had sold, and he gave her the barrette for the hair she no longer had."

I am sure that this little tale brings different meanings for different people who reads it. Won't hurt to ponder what it means to you...

Italized scripts are excerpts from BY THE RIVER PIEDRA I SAY DOWN AND WEPT by the great Paulo Coelho.

Memoirs of a Geisha

2006-01-13T08:51:00.000-08:00

It was a surprisingly relaxing day for us at work today. There was first the company annual "lunch" - usually we hear of dinners but very seldom lunches! Since the boss also invited some of the big shots from our main customer in Taiwan, so we had it at an equally big-shot seafood restaurant. And the food was gloriously delicious! Every dish of them - be it fresh sashimi, king crab, abalone, lobster - every one of them was prepared in ways I have never savored before. Ooh la la! There was even plenty of beer and Gao Liang (58% alcohol) on circulation. And it was barely 3pm on a workday! Coming from our excessively thrifty and calculative boss, that was really a surprise. There were five tables altogether and each costed NT$8000+ minus the drinks! Imagine. To top it off there was the KTV after the meal! Might as well call it an off day :P. But the highlight of the day wasn't sitting on the couch smelling of cigarette and listening our KTV King-and-Queen dominating the mics singing 85% of the songs, it was this:

Yes, it was one of the long awaited movies since 2005 that I have wanted to watch. My only regret is that I have not read the actual book, prior to the threatrical adaptation. The rumours were rather accurate - that the movie wasn't phenomenal but all the same it was worthwhile.

For ZhangZiYi was spectacular in playing the role of Sayuri, even though I have expected slightly more from her... but I really give her credits for the dance scene - thrilling, chilling and totally captivating. Also glad to learn that she has improved much on her command of English :). Nevertheless, in my very humble opinion, ZiYi's performance may potentially be the highlight if not for the over-powering presence of Gong Li as conniving Hatsumomo, which is something to behold, really. I remember this actress from previous mandarin movies I watched long ago, but her performance in Memoirs showed that experience truly maketh the (wo)man.

Ken Watanabe delivered a good one too as The Chairman, though not as memorable as his performance in The Last Samurai, while Michelle Yeoh is ever the elegant Datuk Michelle Yeoh. But amidst these seasoned actors, rose a star child who played the role of Chiyo (young Sayuri) with whom I am very impressed. Her innocence and expressions gave the movie a notch higher on the emotional appeal and hers are the eyes that can melt the coldest stare of a ruthless general or trickle a tear from a heartless man. In the scene on the bridge that sealed Sayuri's fate with the Chairman's, little Suzuka Ohgo proved that she has the potential of a rising star as well as more chemistry with Ken Watanabe than what ZiYi had for the rest of the movie.

Memoirs is not merely a biography of a Geisha. How I perceive it, it also tells the different kinds of men who every woman will have to face throughout her lifetime. She will always attract people like the Baron, who has a huge weakness for beautiful women and thus showers them with exquisite gifts albeit with ulterior motives. Then there'll always be a Mr. Nobu for her - a gentleman who's perfect in every way and good-husband material, but to whom her heart just doesn't belong, even if he would give the world up for her. And there'll always the one with more kindness than all the rest combined, or the quiet man who will love her unconditionally behind corner of her shadows. If fate allows it, she may discover her destiny with the good men whom she dearly loves, or, more unfortunately, intertwined with those like the Baron.

And as men, it is inevitable that our knees buckle and our hearts stir at the sight of beautiful women. It is engraved in our DNA, something passed down from our forefathers. But that doesn't warrant us to act like the Baron, nor justify intentions like his. Gifts we can spare freely, and they don't have to be worldy things but could be small gestures like treating her well and respectfully, giving her equal opportunities, offering assistance when it is in need... (though I have to say offering to be called upon *even at night* to have a chat is not what I have in mind here :P).

Fans of ZhangZiYi will be delighted with this place called HelloZiyi.us. This girl is garnering more and more fans worldwide!

Spoiler's ahead:

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During the supposedly most touching scene with Sayuri and the Chairman in the end, despite the obviously fake tear at the corner of the man's right eye, I was already breathing in the moment while imagining how the emotions between the two lovers would be transformed into words flowing from Arthur Golden hands into the book. But my friend next to me whispered, "Didn't he already has a wife and children?"

Man... that was really potong the steam!

New Year's Resolutions

2006-01-09T06:54:00.000-08:00

Soothsayer has beaten me to coming up with the blog entry on his new year's resolution(s). It's already the 9th day into 2006, I guess it's time or never. Though he's is but a sole proclamation of his renewed way of handling, or speaking to so to speak, idiots, mine do not include such (I'm luckier not to have that any idiots, or am I just more tolerant in that scale?) but just a few seedlings of what I have in mind.

A couple days' ago I confided in noodle and told her that I have a strong feeling 2006 is going to be different. Different in the way that you feel renewed and want things to happen. Particularly, things that have been bugging at the back of your head and you thinking maybe it aint so bad putting it off just a little bit more, just a little bit more... (like the song from Play)

First milestone is of course, this little baby I have here. I went through 2005 with so many thoughts and things to write about - somehow just couldn't have the time to record them but have the time to finish reading 12.75 books. It was nice when I have noodle - my other real, and of course most important baby :P - around for we'd have such mental discussion and arguments at times. I even nicked her the "walking google", 2nd in-line to the real thing :). Though my thoughts may just be ramblings, commonplace proses of my mundane life or even just rubbish like that from Soothsayer's little idiot, it shall be my own pensieve, a well of things to be kept for remembrance and a tracking device for everything happening in and around me.

Second of all is something the average joe puts off so easily, day in and day out. Average-joe-no-more, I told myself when I enrolled into a gym with noodle just a few weeks back. And even if I am outstation, I will look into the local gyms wherever I may be. Things could've been so much easier if not for my lousy pes planus problem (of course, that may very well be an excuse - a painful one!) that makes it hard for me to jog, which I kinda like - the jogging, not the pain! So by the end of 2006, 10kgs off the scale? Hmmm, maybe make it a liiiitle bit more realistic - 5kgs, for I am not delusional :p. Period.

Next is something much closer to my heart. For I feel that I have gone through so many years without really getting close to the people who matters most to me. My mum particularly, for her I miss the most when I away from my hometown, and my dad who has always been a fortress which I cannot, or dare not or haven't tried hard enough, to enter. Yeah we do talk on the phone, but I have never confided in them. Except, for the that very night that changed my life forever as I live it today - that rainy night when I expelled my Other from my life, and followed my heart all the way to P.D. without a blink of thought. I want change, I want to be closer to them. And I just don't want to spend my life away just working for the money but to spend more time with noodle - my love, my heartbeat, my closest friend and confidant - not just being away and virtually there but yet not at all, esp. in times of need, security or just having plain dolly fun.

And Noodle promised me a visit to the spa. I dearly hope that it is going to be in this year round. Otherwise, I would just whisk her off one day to one and get ourselves pampered and that soreness off-a our shoulders!

13 novels changed me in some ways or others in 2005. I hope that number will not be a constant in time to come. Already 4 books I packed from the 24-hour *gasp* bookshop in Taipei! God, my bibliophilic days will really get me broke soon enough...

From today onwards, I shall live my life as my own. And no more to only please others around me, nor ever compromise my own happiness for the sake of others'. While I shall maintain my truest self and form, best as I can do, I will learn to be stronger and more assertive. How someone sees me should be less important to me than how well I love myself (borrowed and paraphrased from Soothsayer's inspiring words *winks).

So is 2006 going to be different or as extraordinary as the bold promises I declare? I guess we'll just see. 31st day into the 12 month then - it's a date.

"So we think so much about money and our plans for acquiring it that we discover that we're alive only when our days on earth are practically done. And then it's too late."

Last paragraph scripts are excerpts from BY THE RIVER PIEDRA I SAY DOWN AND WEPT by the great Paulo Coelho.

Playing Our Roles

2006-01-08T07:08:00.000-08:00

"Some people have to be doing battle with someone, sometimes even with themselves, battling with their own lives. So they begin to create a kind of play in their head, they write the script based on their frustrations"

I know a lot of people like that. Because I am one. And at some time point of time, I am sure that you were one too.

"But the worst part is they cannot present the play by themselves," he continued. "So they begin to invite other actors to join in."

Every now and then, more often than not, we will always find ourselves faced with trying situations that test our wit and character. And often it may not be stemmed from our root; but rather, a by-product of undesirable ineptness or limitations imposed by others, or worse, a collection of it all. Like a cloak of midnight mist surrounding us, suffocating us.

These are the times we have our roles to play. We would think it is our script to write, and an end of the play we already know too well by heart. But others as well, have their own parts to play - for we cannot present the play by ourselves, not ours to be called. And suddenly we discover that we do not own it anymore, we are just a part of it after all.

Yours is a role who keeps asking why. Mine is one who shuns away and holds himself to blame, even before the plot is revealed. There lies our petty little problem, and we puff and puff 'til it swells out of proportions.

Yes, we will always be caught in a web of frustrations every now and then. But be strong and be patient, this is after all part of the play. And like all actors in all plays, we strive to become better after each passage. And at the end of it all, I just want you to know, though how it is accomplished may remain unbeknownst to us now, I just want to be there with you.

Italized scripts are excerpts from BY THE RIVER PIEDRA I SAY DOWN AND WEPT by the great Paulo Coelho.

Vodka + Beer = Disaster

2006-01-06T21:19:00.000-08:00

Never mix vodka with beer! My flatmate, Leow warned about the effects but cheeky friend, Preeda and I who were already a tad high after the Prime Blue, decided to spike the punishment drink (beer) with some vodka when he was in the loo. We schemed an evil plan to cheat on the next round of bluffing game with dices so that Leow will inadvertently have to gulp the concoction down, unawares.

Guess what? The plan backfired. Somewhere somehow we must have made a teenie weenie miscalculation and I lost. Preeda laughed like a crazy hyena while Leow had absolutely no idea. That must be how Ron Weaseley felt when his wand backfired on him once and vomitted slugs uncontrollably.

So funny... NOT - when you woke up with a heavy head, bloodshot eyes and a hangover the next day! We should have ended there and stuck with beer, but after the beans were spilled, we continued pouring shots of vodka into the beer admist the stupid jokes we made and drunken laughters our of own devices.

Off I go now. Need to nurse my hangover with gallons of water and nice warm mug of Ipoh white coffee in this cold cold morning, I mean, afternoon...

¡ feliz nuevo 2006 !

2006-01-05T06:53:00.000-08:00

First milestone of my resolutions.

It's five days into the new year already, and this has been bugging me at the back of my mind for quite a while. Noodle's doing it, Jocelyn's doing it, for God's sake, even the Soothsayer's doing it! So why should I be left behind?

After I faltered and gave in to procrastination in Surviving Dhaka, which ironically did not survived at all, so here I am. Humble before thee...

First milestone of my resolutions for 2006. This.